don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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