Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
