Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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