just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Randomize
