He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
