I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
