Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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