Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
