four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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