he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
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Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
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I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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