I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
