is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
