ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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