You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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