You really coming over, don't trick.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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