If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize