you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
