We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
