Is it normal to miss your booty call?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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