omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Small penises have feelings too.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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