Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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