I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you have to choose: penises or morals?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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