And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
