ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Randomize
