either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
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yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
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I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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