Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
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i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
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my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?