I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
