I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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