Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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