Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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