she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize