I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
