Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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