I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
