So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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