He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
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