it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
