just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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