The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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