They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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