Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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