mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
