I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
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Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
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Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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