3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
