A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize