Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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