Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
