Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
