you didnt know i had herpes?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
