I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
