I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
