so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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