He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Randomize
