After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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